So I think have mentioned this blog being part of a project, an experiment of sorts. With me as the subject. If successful, anybody who has been watching this will have been witness to an evolution.
The gaming hobby entered my life in 1993. Aside from reading, it has been an important hobby to me for longer than any other. I may do a more detailed post on that at some point in the future, but it provides some necessary background.
Socially awkward is kind of a misrepresentation, or at least, it does not really convey the severity of my social interaction deficit. My social skills, by the way, are excellent if you are basing judgement on outward appearances. It's the internal monologue that's the bitch. That's another subject I want to explore further, at another time.
Why What? Well, due to a confluence of events (which will be detailed to some extent in the next post Why Now?) I have decided that now is the right time to try and overcome some of my isolationist tendencies.
Of course, if you're going to try to become more social, a venue is required in which to interact with other actual human beings. It only makes sense a reason to get out of the house will need to be something I enjoy. I have a few hobbies, mostly quite solitary pursuits. But gaming.....
I collect and paint miniatures. I have spent some time playing these games, but probably in truth, far less than what is required to actually label myself a gamer. Usually I prefer the term hobbyist, as it is more accurate. But I always have the intention of actually getting out to meet people who share this interest. I'm just to scared to do it. Meeting new people terrifies me. So I put things off, always intending one day, tomorrow, next week.
And I browse forums. A lot. Too often. And by browse I mean lurk. In the last few days I have been actually posting. It may not seem like such a big deal to most, adding one's thoughts in a mostly anonymous public space. To me it is, but I was in an expansive mood and it was pretty easy for a few days. Though I have to admit, I was being rather obsessive about checking what comments others may have left in response to things I said. Yeah, I have a lot of issues.
I think I've lost my train of thought at this point, so I'm just going to go ahead and post this. In summary, why gaming? Because I like it, I've always considered this one facet of the stone that is my persona, public or private, and if now is the time, then this is as good an arena as any for me. Let's see if I can make this work.
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